Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
