I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
