i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
