My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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