you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
