pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
