bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
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