What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Randomize
