And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
