so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
