Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
