I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Swine flu is the new snow day.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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