She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
we're making bets on your personal life
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
