You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
