You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
