Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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