it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
