how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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