"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
