tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
He kissed a someone with a penis
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
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