doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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