He is such a slut. More and more my type.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize