I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
