Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Damn. That makes sense

(1-610): View more from Pennsylvania

I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am

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(513): View more from Ohio

We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.

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(512): View more from Texas

I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?

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(970): View more from Colorado

So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all

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(660): View more from Missouri

He described his sex dream about me using only emojis

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(252): View more from North Carolina

What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!

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