Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
