I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
