i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
