Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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