I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize