do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
