your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I just found puke in my bra..
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
