yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Are we still banned from the library?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
