You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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