I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
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