Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize