I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
