So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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