I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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