Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Do vagina's smell?
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
