Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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