I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
