we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I'm really busy with my period
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