i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Randomize
