my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Randomize
