i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
