Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
