I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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