Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
