I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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