I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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