you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
