So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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