maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
so much tequila, so little girl.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
