Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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