He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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