I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
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