i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
