Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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