i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
