he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
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