in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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