She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
