I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
