i just google imaged poop.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
