what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Randomize
