You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
