I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
her facebook's as public as her vagina
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
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