What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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